7 reasons why men are discouraged when their women want to go out without them

For starts- I’m writing this out of sheer humor before an onslaught of women come and call me ‘controlling, insecure, yadda, yadda, so before getting all mad, most of what I’m saying is pretty true. And while you can get mad at me for stating it, you can Google the opposite side of this perspective and see the vicious cycle of one man after another being torn to their knees branded insecure while the man takes another blow to the cheek.  Well, I’m speaking out in good fun the opposite perspective.

Men who are committed to a woman, sometimes even married to a woman, don’t like the idea of their woman going out without them.  This is about clubs, bars, things of that variety.  You can find many people saying how clubs and bars are okay as long as they are respectful when they go out!, well, I’m gonna be one of those people who say it’s not okay.  It’s downright foolish.  When a relationship is going smooth and solid it can be one night like this that takes a piss all over it and makes for a new build-up of making things ‘right’ again.

7 Reasons why men discourage their woman going out without them

  1. We know how ‘we’ think- Men know how men think.  A woman can sit there saying “what you don’t trust me?” all they want…please women, take down the instigation fence for a moment, it’s not about you.  It the knowledge of knowing prior to being ‘with’ you, the ‘single’ us, that when we went out, we were out for one intention.  Believe it or not, us men didn’t all gather up to go to the bar to have a few drinks and dance the night away.  While it sounded promising, it simply wasn’t our goal for the night.
  2. We know how we think on alcohol- Many of us under  the influence of alcohol are guided to decisions that may not be made by our reasonable halves.  Many times it is decision on impulse for momentary gain that is looked back on like hmmm…oops.  Well, as our prized woman, and our ‘love’ the last thing we want is you around a bunch of potential horny animals drinking one beverage after another that makes them merely a piece of male anatomy, as opposed to a round about individual that can actually hold a conversation.
  3. There are alternatives- We, as men, don’t care about you going out and having a good time with your friends. We care about the potential atmosphere and the disaster that can awake from a poorly chosen one.  The equation of our wife/girlfriend, us not there, and many drunken men, at the scene of a club or bar, doesn’t settle well with us.  It FURTHER does not settle well with us when you say it will be okay because your friends will be there, thanks ‘hunny’, that’s very reassuring, how about a movie?
  4. We know how you get around your friends when we are not around- It’s like reliving the high school days and early college days of going wild when we are not around.  We aren’t stupid, you act prim and proper and then the second you get to that bar or club it’s all ‘throw your hands in the air like you don’t care’, sure, there are times we need to simply let loose, life can be pretty tough, we want to be there.  That’s all.
  5. Dancing by yourself doesn’t make anything better-  So you get in and you say “Baby i didn’t dance with anyone, just by myself and my friends the whole night”, which to us we think, AWESOME. So the whole night when you weren’t drawing all the attention to yourself, cause what does that better than dancing by yourself, when you weren’t doing that, you were having a dirty dancing match with your friends. Time to go check youtube…you are probably the top ‘hit’
  6. “I drank responsibly” means, “I got hammered but nothing went wrong”- When you come in at 2 in the morning and tell us you only had a beer, ‘sure hunni, sure you did, oh watch you step and wait! that’s not the bathroom, that’s the kitchen’  Your versions of drinking responsibly truly means you didn’t sleep with anyone, you got home okay, and that the relationship can return to normal now.  Except the normal is now in a different dimension of ‘okay’
  7. Your friends more likely than not encourage things we would hate- Things along the line of ‘oh hey, he’s cute, you aren’t doing anything wrong if you aren’t taking his number or cheating’  or ‘it’s just a drink, not a big deal’ or the fabled ‘come on lets do shots!’ that’s the call of the wild we just love.  Fact is, while it doesn’t apply to all friends, the friends who don’t like the ‘man’ in their friends lives, have no problem suggesting ways to tamper and screw it up.  It is the friendly commitment of women of looking out for one another in all ways, even if that means killing their relationship with who they feel is a bad choice.

And there they are.  The 7 reasons why men are discouraged when their women go out without them.  This doesn’t apply to everyone, this doesn’t even have to apply, it is merely a matte of opinion.

Some of it could be meant to be funny, or maybe there is a lot of hard truth in there?  Fact is, it’s very easy to claim insecurity and control without considering the other option of what reasonable men don’t want their women around.  All in all, this was written to have as my blog states, an ‘open mind’  Oh, and I hate assholes, and being a hell of one myself when I get a few drinks in my system, I’m speaking from the spectator booth.

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I’m Irish, O’Rourke’s Bar & Grill What Happened?

0-2 in RI Dining

It was a quiet Tuesday afternoon and my wife, son, and myself were out and about wondering the village for a place to fill our growling stomachs. We both are strongly tied to Irish heritage, both of our full names speak that for themselves…so we saw O’Rourke’s Bar and Grill thinking…this could be a warm atmosphere…could be a good time…so we approached with enthusiasm.

And so it began…it was quiet. A peaceful little bar surrounded by various tables made to seat anywhere from 2-6 people. The height of the tables made your choice of seating selection far smaller however, in accordance with, if you have a child sitting with you. A high chair only supported a table sitting a large party which made the seating arrangement of the 3 of us at a 6 seated table rather awkward, but not a big deal.

First impression time…the waitress approached and we just asked for 3 glasses of water…and made the simple order of a burger with fries well done for myself…my wife went with an order basic american food here…chicken fingers with a side of fries. The waters arrived and I went to have a sip and my face squinted as I swallowed the fluid. It was sweet…Mild panic built up in my eyes, and I asked my wife to try a sip. She exclaimed it was an attempt to roofie me…in which I told her she should finish the drink and lets make the most of it. Kidding aside…I sent the water back…very odd thing to do, but I’m not a fan of dehydration…and with its arrival also came our food. The waitress said…I hope the water is better this time around…awkward statement of the month for a place invested in it’s food for success…

So the second attempt at the water was a failure…Had my wife try it again…we began to grow concerned about the dish washing staff at this point…but hid it for the compassion we had for those eating around us. The burger I couldn’t really complain about. Though it had very little flavor, and had about a full head of lettuce under the top of the bun, i guess for a neat presentation for a burger…I was too hungry to really give it much thought. My wife was not a fan of the burger…but in comparison to the chicken fingers that she and my son were sharing…I would call it a step up in a positive way. The chicken fingers were breaded as all are…but they had a soggy flavorless kind of taste to them which is rather hard to imagine. Most chicken fingers are breaded and fried…these looked like they were breaded and baked I suppose but it held no flavor, the chicken itself was dry, and there were not enough condiments to make up for the overall dry fiasco. I was asked about the water 2 additional times, which it ended up being sent back each time, I ended up going without a drink for the meal. The fries…forgot to mention them, were okay. Well, the regular ones were. The sweet potato fries my wife ordered were burnt to the point that they pretty much broke apart when you picked them up.

For a place that was not too busy this particular night…it was a disappointment. The atmosphere itself was nice for a drink and it’s close by the water…and I suppose with enough drink the food would almost be deemed as tasty…but for someone aware of what they are putting into their digestive track…it was clear to know it simply wasn’t too impressive.

Rim Nahm- Cranston, Ri Restauraunt Review *Ouch*

Rim Nahm

-By Sean Monaghan

I was in search of a craving, an urge to indulge in some Thai food. Upon careful consideration a decision was met between my wife, my son, and I on a place called “Rim Nahm”. I personally had no idea what that name meant, it could have meant flame pit, but to me, I saw a Thai food sign and ‘by the water’ and I was willing to give it the upper hand, oooops. I am not a man to judge a book by its cover, but for this place I will have to give it a nice pat on the back for being located right by the bridge with a peaceful view of the water granting serenity before the disaster you are about to experience. It was almost a true grasp of a bi-polar moment, feeling the highest of highs, and then once receiving the service by the restaurant, the lowest of lows. Upon ordering from the menu I felt the shivers quiver up my arm that something was potentially very wrong, It was my natural instinct heeding a warning.

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We ordered wonton soup and a simple drunken noodle platter to split between my wife and I. We have a 3 year old, anyone who doesn’t have one…parenting class on the house, they like to grab things that are potentially very dangerous. I am glad to say that our waitress, who must also work in a day care, took the proper precaution of super-nuking this soup and placing it directly in front of my son, Aidan. During the extreme battle of retrieving this ancient weapon of destruction I went to ask for some ice cubes to cool it down, I was met with a stare of complete disbelief. Our waitress, and quite possibly the owner of the establishment, had no idea what an ice cube was. To cut this matter short without fully indulging the drama, I merely pointed to a cup of water then the soup and said I don’t want my son to get burned…suddenly the picture was as clear as a beautiful summer day. Sadly to my disappointment, my mind was far from clear. The drunken noodles were 90% onions which on account of being an avid reader, I was rather certain it was meant to be made primarily of flat egg noodles. They must not have been selling many onion dishes that week, because I had enough there to properly season the rest of the nights orders.

When the time to ask for the check came, I am a firm believer of appreciating small blessings, the end of this meal, in short, was a miracle. Then I paused and looked closer at the bill…50 cent charge for….following my finger over…wait for it…ice cubes…? what? Really!? Apparently the discovery of this particular of this scientific boom pow carried with it a finders fee. Wonderful. Aside from the collapse I had to the sidewalk and minor convulsions, the rest of the night went peaceful without any memory of this tragic incident.

I decided to interview very briefly a few patrons leaving this particular restaurant days later with simple questions of satisfaction. As a commenced answer I would place it as one that would sound like “It was tolerable and I think I will digest it okay, but I have no real intention of going back”. All in all the atmosphere was nice, the scene of the water is beautiful on the right kind of night and with the right company, but for it to hold the strong reviews it has on the google search I attempted means only one thing to me…that many people after eating here simply feel too ill to write a proper honest review…

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A poem about the love for a child and guidance

This is a poem that anyone with a child will be able to relate to.  I wrote it one morning when my son was sick, it must have been 6:30am I was exhausted, and he was just struggling to sleep.  So I wrote it off the top of my head and left it as the original draft that was made.

“The Passing Years”

It seems like only yesterday

You were sucking on your thumb

Now you’re counting, walking rounds

Adventuring; finding whats fun

You just learned the alphabet

My how the time flies

The day you first came to be

Was my life’s lullaby

It’s the smile you wear when I come home

Just a step inside the door

Leaves me holding with my wife

What more could be asked for

Looking at all that’s come to be

It’s beautiful beyond words can tell

And while you lay there dreaming

I make sure the night light remains alert and peek

Cause If I don’t I know you’ll come screaming

And I’ll wonder when I’ll get to sleep

So in this time of pure silence

I’ll whisper in your ear

The lessons that come with life

Through the passing years.

An Understanding to Depression and ways to overcome it

An Understanding to Depression and ways to overcome it

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I’m going to discuss a very sensitive topic; Depression.  It is something that is capable of preventing the simplest essence of joy.  And yet, it is something that everyone at one time or another experience because it is a part of growing.  By overcoming shortcomings and disappointment it contributes to the very development and core of who we are as human beings.  We each handle it a different way and in the public eye it is perceived differently; introvert and extrovert personalities show two different stories because they are from two very different thinking minds.  The most notable time is the time that passes after the depression, and who is left at that time.

You will find that some people simple can’t get past certain obstacles that come in life.  The loss of a loved one or a sibling is a prime example.  Some people simply cannot let go of these fragments of time and they are stuck in one repetitive day; and I phrase it that way because they are reliving the same guilt and sadness on the same thoughts routinely.  They are preventing any growth in their person and being by being completely devastated by time.  It isn’t wrong to hold on to something that one holds so dear; however, it is wrong to not continue to live life for one’s self.  Moving forward and cherishing something that meant a lot to you is completely understandable and an important thought to consider is the person you are grieving over would want to be remembered, but not be a hindrance to one’s own happiness.

On lesser severities small disappointments in life that lead to depression and disappointment, some simply have the experience and knowledge of time that others do not.  Some can take disappointment as a small stride and easily overcome it, tackling what the next day has to offer; whereas others the smallest infliction of a moment not going to plan can lead to emotional outbursts.  Life experience alone and how sheltered one is to the harsh aspects of life have a lot to do with how well one can carry themselves during times of hardship.  There are other things to consider and other explanations to give, however rather than focus on the negative there are positive ideals to consider.

The overcoming of these hardened times of sadness.  There are ways to overcome them, ideas and suggestions anyone can put to use to overcome the difficult ducts of time.  Some suggestions to overcome the very aspect of depression are:

Overcoming Depression

  • A hobby- Find something that you can lose yourself in.  Whether it is a sport, art of some form, or even just a form of music you find soothing.  It could even be the extravagant world of baths and the many things you can do to make them more soothing.
  • Exercise- This not only will lead to a better body image, it will release endorphins in your body that make you naturally feel happy.  An hour a day can greatly enhance how you feel about yourself, or even a half hour.  Go for a jog, clear your mind, and learn to love yourself.
  • Let go- Whether it’s a grudge, or a pain of the past…holding on simply isn’t worth it.  If whatever it is means a lot to you, so be it. Keep the memory, not the pain or anger.
  • Accept yourself- Allow yourself the leniency to not be perfect.  No one is. Find the things you love about yourself and focus on that.  No one can be the best of every personality trait, it’s simply not how we are built to be.  Our differences in strength and weakness are what make each of us unique.
  • Nutrition- Believe it or not what you put into your body has an impact as to how you will feel. If you eat a healthy meal you will feel properly full, and feel the energy to want to go out and do things.  Whereas, if you eat half a pizza, you will feel sloppily stuffed, and not really want to do anything.  A proper diet can contribute a lot to a mood setting.
  • Sunlight- This doesn’t mean go out and soak up the sun, it means to get a healthy amount.  If you’re like me the idea of cooking yourself in a lawn chair simply isn’t the thing to do, but going out for a walk and getting some sun does a lot of good for you.  It interacts with your mind and the production of ‘happy’ feelings inside.  That’s about as scientific as I’m going on that one.
  • Trusted friends- Have a friend or two that you can truly confide in and rely on for advice.  It never hurts to bounce ideas off people who truly care.

Believe in yourself

Just taking the time to believe in yourself can allow you a chance to see tomorrow in a different light.  It’s a shame how many of us fall into the dark pit of depression and simply lose faith in ourselves; it can all change by taking the appropriate amount of time to think it all over.

As someone who has dealt with depression several times through a life-time the battle may be something that comes back from time to time…that doesn’t make you weak, that makes you human.  With the right mindset you can overcome it and always have the edge to lean yourself to happiness.