The Heart That Went Away

If I break–tell me this then
Will you stand by to listen?
Will you stand with me through thick and thin
And chip away the bad from sin

The dreams that dance with my despair
With seething pain beyond repair

Cause I’m marked deep down inside
All these shadows that I hide
Are the things that brand my mind
The broken hopes that make me blind

The fears alive inside my eyes
I just want something to believe

When everything is hoping
What is it that I’m missing
The feeling deep inside
That I seem to keep resisting
My skin is wearing thin
This night could be the last
And I would be okay
Because I’m living in the past

Life has drained away my desperate needs
A wound remains that always bleeds

It’s like life has passed me by
But the past is fresh inside
The wounds that bind the hurt and pain
Closed the casket with my name

I need a reason, to reach for more
To find the chance that I’ve hoped for

When nothing’s making any sense
The days are blending, always tense
Inside is crippled; broken and bound
Lost from all the pain its found
Each step I take, a feeling faked
And the same old nightmare I can’t escape

I tamper with the chords of fate
They’re poisoned with my endless hate

I felt my heart get set on fire
Chains burned into its flesh
It pumped out its pure denial
Until there was nothing left
As it turns to fading ash
It spread across the air
My heart became a memory
Of what’s no longer there

It’s the day my heart went away
The day that left no words to say

I became everything
What I thought I should be
And now I stand a puppet
With strings made of my misery

Image from: dontspoillovewithfriendship.tumblr.com

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A World Where We’re Small

Your touch brought me back to life
And then it turned into a knife
Caught my breath in winded sighs
As life drained out from my eyes
I’d face the world with tempt to change
To paint the canvas known as pain

Yet I have faced my everything
And still inside decides to sting

Here, I’ve sacrificed it all
There’s no one left for me to call
I’m alone, all by myself
With whispers, and no sign of help
The sky has changed a shade of grey
And I’m left here, anyway

And still I reach for some small chance
To live a life from second glance
And here it comes, in its own way
The birth of empty, everyday

Now I’m staring at the ceiling
Hoping that I’m somehow healing
While inside is slowly wearing
Still, I’m reaching for a feeling
And even though I’m dreaming
Hoping, always ‘seeming’

I know there is no hope for me
Can’t you see, the hole in me?

Skipping rocks in memory
Pitfalls of what couldn’t be
And everything not meant for me
And still I try so hard to see
The things in life not meant to be

With a need for something more

Tell me when you’re sick of it
The pain and blame, the half of it

And still I’ll seek for something more
Digging deeper at the core

Just how far will you reach
With a need to feel
When reality seems to breach
The fake seems like the real

To push for a sense
of what can or cannot be
Leaving tracks that lead a way
That make or break a memory

And until that time, I’ll wait to find
And stare into this world blind

When one refuses how to see
Hope can last, and always be

Come stand with me, blind and tall
In a world where we’re small
Where infinite is possible
and destiny is there to call

Blooming Miracle

This poem is about heartache, it’s that position of knowing that your heart is broken and that something or someone has the ability to remind you how to feel, how to care, and simply how to feel some spark of happiness.

“Blooming Miracle”

It’s not about the past
It’s all about today
The process of our moments
Along with cards we play
With a feint pixilation
Awaits an angel deep inside
Suffocating from a past
Those emotions that we hide

Seeking what we call acceptance
Looking simply to be found
Looking for that special someone
Knowing inside, they’re around
So I reach out a hand
To shelter you from pain
It’s that way you look at me
With the bounty of a change

At one time I sat alone
Imprisoned by my will
Awoken by that something
By how you shocked me still

An opening to new beginnings
While I file a ruptured past
I close my eyes with this hope
These feelings somehow last

The days that slowly drift away
I’m captured by the tick
As hours become memories
I watch and stand by it

When something is so special
They are precious to the core
If she only knew the truth
That she’s worth hoping for

When I couldn’t look away
It was something that I knew
When I felt that spark inside
I knew I needed you

I would try to tame my thoughts
It’s just the you’re so real
You’re  the blooming miracle
That reminds me how to feel

Image comes from: http://dafterdark.com/?p=11

Finding Faith in Failure

Odd collection of words up there isn’t it? Faith and failure don’t often find themselves hand in hand, but then again it all comes down to how you look at it. Having a healthy point of view in just about all of life’s conflicts can truly change a situation around. Failure is that stinging reminder that we aren’t perfect, it’s the consistent challenge to better ourselves and be daring enough to live with the fact that sometimes our best simply isn’t good enough. It’s a reminder to improve ourselves, to grow a little bit every day, because it’s when you feel that there is nothing left to learn that you in fact become a failure.

Pride and failure

The general consensus people have toward failure is shame, disappointment, and other negative frameworks, but why? Truthfully, failure should only be taken that way when the necessary efforts were severely in lack and laziness is the reason for the failure.

When someone truly gives it their all, their very best efforts, and they fail, there is a certain amount of pride that should be felt. Failing doesn’t mean that you are a failure, failing is that opportunity to enhance and make something better. Failure can teach you a lot of things such as:

  1. Problem areas- Where you need to invest some time to improve.
  2. Efficiency opportunity– A chance to look over the actions that were performed and have an opportunity to better them. Make them faster, more clear and concise, or whatever the given scenario may be that can be optimized.
  3. Strengths analysis- This is simply the opportunity to see where you are strong, areas that you can use as a way to strengthen your weaker areas.
  4. Reality check- When things go well for a while it is easy to become too comfortable, and when people become too comfortable, that is when the largest mistakes of all can come to be.

We have this loony way of thinking in today’s world that failure is unacceptable, and that if you don’t do a good enough job then there is someone else available that can. It’s wrong, it’s screwed up, and it is one of the many reasons that there are so many people out there with shattered self-esteems and the inability to effectively communicate, the fact that it has been drilled into their head that if they fail then there is no coming back.

Taking down the fail gates

The only person that can take on this kind of thinking, this hypnotizing wave of negativity, is by taking risks solely for yourself. If you are going to try and achieve something, then you need to do it for yourself. Sure, you can be proud if other people support what you are doing, but when it comes down to it, if at heart you don’t want to do ‘x’ thing, then you shouldn’t do it.

So many people apply themselves to things for all of the wrong reasons:

  1. To prove someone wrong
  2. To make this or that person proud

The very factor of simply living for ones one personal expectations has fallen off the map. It’s time that we take a little time to review life and actually go, “Wow, I really don’t want to do this with my life”, and make some choices that others may not completely agree with, but in the long run, internally, you will know that it will make YOU happy.

Life is about finding happiness and acceptance in one way or another, the moment that you start living it primarily for another’s satisfaction is the moment you stop truly living.

 

Image comes from: funtaqa.wordpress.com

Menace

This poem is about a darker subconscious that mirrors our every step, follows us with every action we decide, and whispers to us during the darkest moments of our life.
“Menace”

I look around at the silhouettes
The eyes, they dive inside of me
I’d push away, but it’s too dark to see
The menacing voices, the laughter it hurts
Pinch to remind, make me alert

I need to know I’m alive
The darkness settled in and I’m beginning to wonder

I bite down on my tongue, to cease what’s to say
It seems like forever, this long drifting day
Alone with my thoughts, but not so alone
A conscience that whispers thoughts of a home

It may be out there after all

Walking alone, but a shadow’s still there
Walking beside me, at the thread of my hair
It mimics my movements, it dances with light
Then it just goes at the coming of expected night

So I ask myself, what is left for me
But a mixture of heart-wrenching dark misery

A world of nothing, that’s drenched in despair
A group of ‘friends’ that can never be there
A family that judges, a job that’s dead end
A world of nothing, with tight ropes and close bends

So walk with me now, laugh in each step
This world of ruins that has little left
Smile at nothing, brace for the fall
Cause without a smile, why wake up at all?

 

Image from: www.stunninghijab.com