The 6 Traits that State You are an Asshole, and Proud

The 6 Traits that State You are an Asshole, and Proud


Caught you at the end there, didn’t I? An asshole, and proud? Yep, absolutely what I meant to type also. Being an asshole isn’t a bad thing, as a matter a fact I was thinking about a number of different titles I could give this particular write-up and nothing stood out quite as well as the above.

First off, I’m without question, an asshole. That isn’t to say that I am mean at heart, ignorant to the world and its issues, or to say that I’m a lazy bigot. None of the above. When I say I’m an asshole I simply stick to the simple, I see the world for what it is and I choose to not sugarcoat it. Assholes tend to be blunt, realists, and at the bone, just honest. So, here are the traits that come with being a proud asshole:

  1. You’ve given up on society- Ever been out and about on daily errands and had a run in or two with people that led you to the thought “Yep, I’ve had enough of people for the day”. Well, chances are you are on the path to being me. Honestly, anywhere you go it’s almost impossible not to notice someone doing something stupid. Whether it is driving somewhere and someone doing something that earns the rightful title “prick”, or someone shopping at a retail outlet giving an underpaid clerk a hard time about a company policy. Fact is, it isn’t to say that there aren’t some great people out there to get to know, it’s more so the recognition that most people are in fact morons.

It’s a sad truth, but a truth none the less. Why do you think it is so exciting to talk with someone that isn’t afraid to simply be themselves? Because there are so many fake morons out there that make up most of society.

  1. You don’t care what people think- Ever met up with your wife or girlfriend somewhere and you simply didn’t give a shit what people at ‘x’ place thought of you? I’m talking to the extent that you know they are all dressing up, so you show up in some band T-shirt and ripped jeans with the idea being “take it or leave it”? Or better yet, you are swayed to attend something where you flat out state “I will have nothing in common with anyone there”, yet, you are urged to “pretend”, yeah, that always works out so well.

The problem is that people are judged for all the wrong things instead of their intellectual potential. The way one dresses, their hobbies/interests, or tattoo/piercing interests say nothing about someone for who they are at the core. The way a person composes themselves, treats others, and the way a person handles the people and things that hold significant value to them as a person are all the prime ideals that identify a person, and how ‘real’ they are.

  1. You don’t mind challenging people for what they think- I love intellectual challenges, and I don’t mind challenging what others believe/think. If you run into someone who just doesn’t agree with something and has no real plausible explanation, sure, they are an asshole, but not a proud asshole. A proud asshole has to be semi-intelligent or you simply aren’t a welcome member of the group.

It doesn’t make you an asshole to have an opinion, yet a lot of people will disagree with that. Don’t believe me? Abortion, for or against? Point proven. People will battle over sensitive topics that shouldn’t carry a label, only a personal preference and reasoning behind it, but that is the way of the world: fight dirty, label, hate, rinse, repeat.

  1. You find amusement when people have certain problems- This comes with an explanation: ever have a friend that has consistent issues pop up? Normally all of the same variety? This isn’t claiming someone has a personal injury and disease and you laugh at it, that’s simply insensitive and stupid, nope, this is the person who has a common ‘issue’ that reappears every month or so. Rather then take the pain and disappointment seriously, you almost find it amusing. Well, most of the time.
  2. You prefer to listen- Most of the time in social scenarios the proud asshole will simply be quiet. Not because we don’t have things to say, but because normally there is someone else that is ranting on and on about bullshit we don’t care about and find the exhaust of oxygen to be an unfair tradeoff. Face it, most of the time at social scenarios there will be some attention whore of sorts (can be male or female, whore is just a great word choice) and trying to compete with that and have any kind of civil conversation with someone is simply a headache. Cell phones didn’t become ‘smart phones’ and lead to applications from nowhere, this thought initially came from someone being tortured at a social gathering and they went “wow, this is a great idea AND a way to block out that loud idiot”.
  3. You can label people before they speak- Society has only itself to blame for this. You have the white people who are trying to be 50 cent, the black people that are trying to be 50 cent, and then you have a mesh of people in the mix who are afraid to be themselves so they look at the popular trends of a given area and hop on the band wagon. To be clear here, I am not racist, I am only honest. You could be black, white, yellow, I don’t give a shit, if you act a certain way, you will earn a certain label.

This could go on and on, feel free to add, make suggestions and so forth. It’s all in good fun, but in truth, it’s also a fair assessment on the world and the lack of honest, real people. I find the value for those that are truly friends to be that much more valuable, I consider family to be that much more important, and I find the amount you can truly trust someone to be that much more held-up.

Life in a lot of ways is shit, it is a matter of finding the way to pave the steps you take and recognizing what makes you happy and making decisions based around that. In a way this is a rant, in another it is an analysis, but all in all, simply good fun. Hope the read was semi-amusing.

Sound like you? Stand up and be proud with me.


10 thoughts on “The 6 Traits that State You are an Asshole, and Proud

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    • Hey Ruth,
      I know very little about RSS and atom feeds 🙂 but I believe there is a subscription option where you can input your email somewhere along the left boarder somewhere. If you have any further questions feel free to reach out. I’m glad you enjoy my writing.



  2. Interesting perspective….
    I do have to disagree with this line: “The way one dresses, their hobbies/interests, or tattoo/piercing interests say nothing about someone for who they are at the core.”, but only so I can challenge you for what you think 🙂
    Because don’t all those things actually say a whole bunch about a person – especially a superficial person – if those are the parts of life they choose to care about above, say, how “a person composes themselves, treats others,” et cetera?

    I love how provocative this piece is… if it weren’t so well-composed, one could almost mistake you for a troll 🙂 Thanks for sharing!


    • Haha 🙂 look up the post im guilty of judging people, you would appreciate it 🙂

      Thank you for the response. In a way while these are in fact things that can speak a lot about an individual at the same time people fall into trends, most of the time, for the wrong reasons.
      When I speak of something in reference to the core of who someone really is it means more about whether it’s genuine or something as you say, superficial.

      Thank you again for your response.


      • Thank you for the recommendation – I already like it from the title!
        I just discovered your blog and love your poetic voice…. I think it’s the “dark poetry” that somehow enraptures me. I also appreciate pieces like this for providing a glimpse into the mind behind those brilliant works 🙂


      • I really appreciate the compliments, thank you very much 🙂 I’m glad that you enjoy the writing. While some of it is in fact meant to be entertaining other pieces are brutally honest from a personal perspective and meant as a pick me up in one way or another. I know when I’ve felt shitty the slightest push, even if from a darker tone, would have been great.
        Hope you are having a nice Tuesday 🙂


  3. Hallelujah!!!

    Ignorant motherfuckers will judge nonstop just for behaving and thinking on your own … no matter how much you care for people, support them, love them, if you don’t believe all the bullshit and lies on tv or popular culture, you’re an asshole. So be it. I can’t stand the taste of koolaid.


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