Every day shares a challenge that is the same for everyone: the challenge to be who you are, or the journey toward what you want to become. This comes in a number of different ways, it could be school, it could be the simplicity of managing your morning in an effective way, but one thing is consistent: we all want to strive to become something better.
Everyone has an ‘ideal’ person that they would like to be, and being a man, I have to stick to the man side of things. So, what should men be striving to be? What makes us worth looking at, listening to, hiring, believing in, and so forth? There are specific traits that make us stand out as men versus children, these are the traits of a real man:
A man can speak for himself and defend himself
Real men know how to defend themselves, and this comes in all flavors: physically and mentally. Unfortunately, this actual trait is something that is ignored more often then embraced, don’t believe me? Look at the world today and look at the leaders that are in place in various corporations. Many of them simply had positions of power because mommy and daddy handed it down to them.
Real men learn how to compose themselves, they get knocked down and they learn how to pick themselves back up. They can speak and defend points in arguments in a way that is crafted and on-point.
The problem with many men today is that they try to hide from being direct. Questions are answered with questions, decisions are made from behind the scenes, and that is the exact reason leadership on a worldwide scale is in the toilet bowl.
A man can hold his own
We have seen the mistaken tough guy: the guy that wears about 5 pounds of silver around his neck, wears a baseball cap sideways, and walks like he has had a pole rammed up his ass. This is not a tough guy, this is an unfortunate representative for the male culture that makes all of us men look bad.
There is a huge difference between a tough guy and a poser. A tough guy simply can hold his own, keep to himself, but when it all really comes down to it he can handle just about any given situation. A poser, aka above, is the guy that will pick on people that don’t know how to speak for themselves up until the choose someone who has an older brother and gets their ass kicked.
A man owns his mistakes and rarely apologizes
Immediately the apologizing part is going to raise red flags, and I will explain. When it comes to making mistakes, if they are bad enough and ‘personal’ enough, then yes, a man should apologize. So many times though there are people saying sorry for things, when in fact they shouldn’t be saying sorry at all.
I look at it like this, there are a lot of choices that we make because we feel at the given time it is the best course of action. I’m not going to give specifics because there are far too many people to try and relate this to, but the fact is, why say sorry? I have found myself commonly saying:
“I’m not sorry about what I did or how I felt about ‘x’ thing because it is who I am”.
The whole idea about being your own person is being able to own the decisions you make and the words you say. If you are simply being yourself, why apologize? Now granted, as mentioned above, if you hooked up with your girlfriends friend or something else of similar disaster then by all means you should be trying to apologize (unless you just truly don’t care, if that is the case, spare the person their feelings and push them away)
Only apologize when it makes sense, make sense?
A real man keeps his word
This is kind of like the golden key in a mans life. Our word should be the most important ‘thing’ we can give out. If you say you are going to do something, then do it. And likewise, only agree to things that you will come through on.
Every man should value their ability to be reliable, when you become a man known for keeping your word then people hold an entirely new respect toward you. It won’t make you a bad person to say that you can’t commit to this or that, simply make the claim to begin with, but don’t make a habit of handing out false promises. Trust is very hard to earn one it has been destroyed and your credibility sucks.
Real men have an enhanced way of seeing right and wrong
There are certain things that are simply common sense as ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and a real man will make a point of sticking to the right side of things. If we are out somewhere and see someone being truly mistreated/abused a real man will step in and set things straight. I’m not talking about a petty argument between a man and a woman, I’m talking about a man slapping a woman around, a kid being treated terribly in open public, a real man will step in and set the wrong right.
The world is a place that makes very little sense, the more people we have to drive the screwed up situations onto a right path, the more likely this world is to make sense at one point or another again.
Men do not like to gossip
We all know how women love to throw the most recent drama around like it is tickets to the title boxing match, and fact is, it sucks. It’s annoying. Can you picture a man being pent up in his room with his telephone calling around to Jared, Bob, and Fred and talking about how Randy has recently decided to start dating Liz and how she is such a slut and that he deserves better?
If you can picture this with a male friend you have, which I would heavily doubt the validity on the ‘male’ side of things there, then run. Men don’t gossip, we don’t like drama, we like quiet. The drama we bring upon ourselves is more than enough and we certainly got better things to talk about then the additional failures our friends are chalking up. Men write their own path, we don’t talk about others poor ass choices though.
Deep explanation is normally summarized
I would consider myself someone who has the ability to discuss things at a deep level and really analyze them, it doesn’t mean that I like to do that, it only means that I’m capable. A lot of times you can place the ‘caveman’ way of thinking around men, the simpler the explanation, the better.
The fact is, when we try to make others understand us it is very, very difficult. We have little understanding about why we think the way we do, let alone trying to convince another why. The simpler the explanation, the more favorable we are towards it. Any time we try to explain something our attention span has a certain time limit, once that bell begins to go off you will gradually notice our tempers rise, our voice heighten, and the words that come out will make much less sense.
Keep it simple, men like that.
Men stick to their values
Real men stick to their values. This is the number one idea behind traits of a real man. We know what is important to us, and we keep that close to our heart. the rest of the world could burn to the ground and the fact is we have a handful of things that we keep close to our heart that we will defend until the end.
Values are going to differ from one man to another, but the number one common idea is the fact that we don’t let anything get in between what we have decided to care about. For a man to care it takes time, development of trust, and overall, a sense of responsibility over something. When we claim something is a value to our life, then we will bend over backwards to protect it.
Being a man is essentially about pride and acceptance. A real man can sit there and own who he is without apology or regret and simply own it as “I am who I am”. The fact is, the world would be a better place if more people could take on this kind of thinking.
How many people end up doing stupid things to try and impress? How may people quit things because they are pushed too hard to the extent that it simply isn’t worth the emotional conflict? There are endless examples, yet so few people that can actually live up to simply being a man, and being proud about it.
Image from: marriageenvy.com