The Art of Being Alone
Being alone, whether it is something we ‘feel’, or truly are, is quite a stand-offish feeling. It’s something that contributes a lot toward the way we interact with society, but at the same time it is something that people who like being alone, value. Being a loner and being a loser are two entirely separate points of view and life styles.
The feeling of being alone can be something merely derived from feeling ‘misunderstood’. Think about it, teenagers all over the world are depressed due to feeling like no one will listen to them. Or they feel that they try to communicate but no one can understand the concepts and feelings they are trying to explain; this is all one big contribution toward the feeling of ‘being alone’. It’s really a sad thing if you think about it, and while it’s sad, it’s entirely manageable.
The art of being alone, as I will call it, is the fact that people are able to enjoy their own company enough to prefer spending their time that way. Sometimes the feeling can overwhelm, when It does, consider the following as options to push the feeling into something beautiful:
How to grasp and manipulate the feeling of being alone
•Turn it into something powerful– Find something you are passionate about. Take this negative energy, and turn it into something beautiful. As a writer that started as a poet, some of my strongest pieces of poetry came from a difficult time. Whether it is:
o Art (painting)
o Writing (poetry, articles of interest, even short stories)
These are all potential outlets and there are so much more available
•Reach out– The social media is a powerful concept, but a dangerous one. By reaching out I don’t mean making yourself the next new ‘story’ on Facebook or twitter, I mean reach out to a key individual or 2 privately, someone you can confide in, and seek advice. A deep conversation time to time can turn the feeling of being alone into a concept that you have people available to help you if you allow yourself to ask for it.
•Find a location you love– Whether it is a park, a place by the water, or a mountain path of some sort. Find a place you can go and simply lose yourself and take time to be alone with your thoughts. Being alone doesn’t have to be such a terrible thing, it can be a time where you can learn all sorts of new things about yourself.
Also, when coping with the feeling of ‘being alone’ you aren’t necessarily always THAT. You need to consider that while people may not understand you, and they may not ever truly ‘grasp’ things and ideas the way you do, that is something you need to learn and accept about yourself.
As people, we are complex, and we take in things differently from one mind to another, rather than take it to heart, it’s important to accept that we are all interesting because of the fact we offer various opinions.
Being alone- Literally
If you are someone who has a tough time being alone, or a fear of being alone, you aren’t alone. It is one of those common fears that people constantly find themselves thinking about, but you can’t let it control how you live, or the decisions you make. If we let our fears have a manipulation over the decisions we make in the long run, the world would be a pit of chaos, then again, it already is, but it would be a larger pit of chaos.
If you have trouble being alone, consider:
•Finding a group or club of interest– Something that meets on a weekly arrangement where you can get around people with a similar interest and enjoy interacting with people over something you can directly identify with.
•Stay in touch with family– As we grow we don’t always stay as in-tune without family, and it’s so important that we do. Like it or not a lot of who we are and decisions we make are bound by concepts we grasped through growing up, and the knowledge we gained along the way from good old mom and dad.
•Keep in touch with friends– Make a point of having particular friends you keep in touch with regularly. They can be there to offer advice at the times you truly need it. When the feeling of being alone hits at awkward times of the night, no one will listen better, than a friend looking out for your best interest.
Being alone is something that needs to be governed and handled properly; it shouldn’t be a crippling effect. After all, the worst part about being alone, is having to spend the time with yourself. And if you hate spending time with yourself, then maybe you need to make some personal adjustments to yourself to change that, and better your opinion of who you are; just something to consider.
Loner versus Loser
A large perspective to put into consideration, as I mentioned above, if you are someone that prefers to be alone that doesn’t make you a loser. It makes you someone that thinks differently, feels differently, but there is no one that can judge these things with considerable value other then yourself.
A loser is some someone with a terrible attitude, who whines all the time, does nothing to better themselves, refuses to hang out with anyone, and essentially just mopes around. Sure, you could call this person depressed and argue it isn’t nice to label them a loser, but I view it as depression brought upon one’s self. ‘Tough love” concept and all.
I’m not saying that people shouldn’t try to interact, but I am saying that the people who choose to keep to themselves, there is nothing wrong with that.
Image from: Sodahead.com