The Art of Being Alone

The Art of Being Alone
Being alone, whether it is something we ‘feel’, or truly are, is quite a stand-offish feeling. It’s something that contributes a lot toward the way we interact with society, but at the same time it is something that people who like being alone, value. Being a loner and being a loser are two entirely separate points of view and life styles.
The feeling of being alone can be something merely derived from feeling ‘misunderstood’. Think about it, teenagers all over the world are depressed due to feeling like no one will listen to them. Or they feel that they try to communicate but no one can understand the concepts and feelings they are trying to explain; this is all one big contribution toward the feeling of ‘being alone’. It’s really a sad thing if you think about it, and while it’s sad, it’s entirely manageable.
The art of being alone, as I will call it, is the fact that people are able to enjoy their own company enough to prefer spending their time that way. Sometimes the feeling can overwhelm, when It does, consider the following as options to push the feeling into something beautiful:

How to grasp and manipulate the feeling of being alone

Turn it into something powerful– Find something you are passionate about. Take this negative energy, and turn it into something beautiful. As a writer that started as a poet, some of my strongest pieces of poetry came from a difficult time. Whether it is:
o Drawing
o Art (painting)
o Writing (poetry, articles of interest, even short stories)
o Music
These are all potential outlets and there are so much more available
Reach out– The social media is a powerful concept, but a dangerous one. By reaching out I don’t mean making yourself the next new ‘story’ on Facebook or twitter, I mean reach out to a key individual or 2 privately, someone you can confide in, and seek advice. A deep conversation time to time can turn the feeling of being alone into a concept that you have people available to help you if you allow yourself to ask for it.
Find a location you love– Whether it is a park, a place by the water, or a mountain path of some sort. Find a place you can go and simply lose yourself and take time to be alone with your thoughts. Being alone doesn’t have to be such a terrible thing, it can be a time where you can learn all sorts of new things about yourself.
Also, when coping with the feeling of ‘being alone’ you aren’t necessarily always THAT. You need to consider that while people may not understand you, and they may not ever truly ‘grasp’ things and ideas the way you do, that is something you need to learn and accept about yourself.
As people, we are complex, and we take in things differently from one mind to another, rather than take it to heart, it’s important to accept that we are all interesting because of the fact we offer various opinions.
Being alone- Literally
If you are someone who has a tough time being alone, or a fear of being alone, you aren’t alone. It is one of those common fears that people constantly find themselves thinking about, but you can’t let it control how you live, or the decisions you make. If we let our fears have a manipulation over the decisions we make in the long run, the world would be a pit of chaos, then again, it already is, but it would be a larger pit of chaos.
If you have trouble being alone, consider:
Finding a group or club of interest– Something that meets on a weekly arrangement where you can get around people with a similar interest and enjoy interacting with people over something you can directly identify with.
Stay in touch with family– As we grow we don’t always stay as in-tune without family, and it’s so important that we do. Like it or not a lot of who we are and decisions we make are bound by concepts we grasped through growing up, and the knowledge we gained along the way from good old mom and dad.
Keep in touch with friends– Make a point of having particular friends you keep in touch with regularly. They can be there to offer advice at the times you truly need it. When the feeling of being alone hits at awkward times of the night, no one will listen better, than a friend looking out for your best interest.
Being alone is something that needs to be governed and handled properly; it shouldn’t be a crippling effect. After all, the worst part about being alone, is having to spend the time with yourself. And if you hate spending time with yourself, then maybe you need to make some personal adjustments to yourself to change that, and better your opinion of who you are; just something to consider.

Loner versus Loser

A large perspective to put into consideration, as I mentioned above, if you are someone that prefers to be alone that doesn’t make you a loser. It makes you someone that thinks differently, feels differently, but there is no one that can judge these things with considerable value other then yourself.

A loser is some someone with a terrible attitude, who whines all the time, does nothing to better themselves, refuses to hang out with anyone, and essentially just mopes around. Sure, you could call this person depressed and argue it isn’t nice to label them a loser, but I view it as depression brought upon one’s self. ‘Tough love” concept and all.

I’m not saying that people shouldn’t try to interact, but I am saying that the people who choose to keep to themselves, there is nothing wrong with that.

 

Image from: Sodahead.com

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15 thoughts on “The Art of Being Alone

  1. This is a great post you make several very good points in it. As a writer enjoying our own company can be a bit of a slippery slope if we’re not too careful! Like the white rabbit we can end disappearing down the hole and we can loose ourselves completely! It’s about trying to maintain a little balance, you give some great tips here.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Absolutely,
      People, as a general consensus, tend to dwell on things a lot. Some of us now how to entertain and cope toward difficult times on our own, but it’s a very small percentage.
      I’m in all ways a loner, just how my mind works, but that extends to my hobbies too (reading, writing, hitting heavy bag) there are certain approaches that will allow a person to be a certain way, and own a certain kind of personality. It’s about finding those factors that lead to living in a way where internally there is a certain amount of peace and acceptance.
      Thanks for checking this out,
      Sean

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      • I totally agree. I love reading as much as I love writing it edify’s my heart and my soul in ways that nothing else can. I also get lots my inspiration from nature and just being still (something not many people seem to be able to do these days), there something incredible about connecting with creation itself. I think that too many people have forgotten how to be alone in the right way if that makes any sense? It’s like they feel a constant need to be doing something, going somewhere, buying something etc, don’t get me wrong I love people, but I also love my times alone too 🙂

        Thanks for sharing 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • I know where you are coming from.
        I have to own the fact that I don’t like most people, very few honest and genuine people out there. I bond with dogs much better, haha.

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  2. Hey – thanks for posting and sharing! I love your comment that loneliness often means feeling misunderstood. I have always believed you can be even lonelier in the presence of those you love than when you’re on your own if those loved ones cannot or choose not to see or feel your heart. And I would go further to say that regardless of how deep the connection might be between two people, these moments are always going to occur in relationships. So learning how to accept and embrace all that you are – weaknesses, strengths, the works – when you truly are alone will only benefit you in the long run, as I believe the ability to love and accept one’s self is the only way to be at peace in those isolated moments. Food for thought on a Saturday morning…

    On a separate note, I wonder which of our titles would show up first on Google… Just as I thought. Yours. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Haha, google is a complicated item when it comes to search. I’ve written a lot about it, primarily for work, it’s constantly changing.
      When it comes to acceptance, as you mentioned, it’s about accepting the good, bad, and in between, but even beyond that, I consider it more a stance where no additional explanation is required.
      Everyone has values and opinions and to me the more time spent trying to explain or justify them only brands the idea of uncertainty and insecurity. I kind of live inside the fact that we are all perfectly in the right to feel whatever it is that we are feeling, people take it upon themselves to try and just and justify and it simply isn’t there place. I don’t seek others to fully understand me, it’s impossible for one to do that with another, simply too much complexity to it.
      Acceptance is essentially owning the fact that everyone is different, and everyone has a right to be. What one tolerates from another is one thing, what they accept is another. Life is boundaries and the understanding we only have control over our own actions, and the ability to decide what we individually put up with from another.
      A lot of analysis on an early weekend morning. My brain is burnt from writing this week, haha.
      Sean

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    • Thank you, I appreciate you dropping in. Hope all has been well with you. Between work, which has picked up fairly drastically lately, contributing something new to this here and there, and just trying to find mental breaks in between, I’ve been pretty busy. Hard to keep up while trying to keep myself in check.
      That and I’ve pretty much retired from writers carnival.

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  3. I was a shy child but have learned in life, if you can be comfortable being alone and liking who you are, you can then venture out and share your confidence with the world…I wrote as a child, and started to share by blogging in January. I am glad I stepped out of the sidelines and in front of the train:) haha, meant in jest. Great piece:)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for dropping in and sharing your thoughts 🙂 I don’t know that I was ever ‘shy’ per se, but I was always selective with who I truly shared myself with, if that makes sense? Internally we have a way of identifying with who we can relate to and actually speak our mind and know that they get it.
      If you’ve ever had a conversation where you are talking with someone and sharing your thoughts and they have that caveman kind of expression on their forehead with the nodding and the “uh huh”, yet, you know that they don’t understand where you are coming from at all, ah yes, they are always fun,.
      In a way I learned that being on your own isn’t such a bad thing, rather comforting in its own way. 🙂 Blogging, writing, expression, ect. Are all things that are great, healthy even. It’s good that you have found the pleasure of doing such things.
      Thanks for dropping in 🙂
      Sean

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      • Haha I know many cave people…..I like to slip an occasional obscure makes no sense sentence in to see the same wall look, very funny and then I stop. I have better conversations on WP with my virtual friends;)

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      • Ah, very agreeable to that point. I find myself to be too impatient. I have a cherished relationship with my pug, Chance. He understands me, doesn’t talk, has a rational look for all opinions I state (granted it is the same pug face, it’s his lack of verbal debates that make up for this)

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      • I have two facially expressive hounds, brown eyebrows if you talk in a way they raise up and look like a person. Sometimes they are more fun than humans:)

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