Road Rage and Sign Language

Road rage and Sign Language

Have you ever had to take a foreign language class as a part of mandatory learning in High School? I know that I did, as a matter of fact I personally blame Spanish for my near expulsion my sophomore year of high school.

Call me an extremist, I simply didn’t want to learn the language. It didn’t help that the teacher was a miserable troll whose teaching style rivaled some of the worst punishments the school had to offer, truthfully, getting suspended was a near act of mercy as opposed to dealing with that woman’s troubles.

It was a bit deeper than that though, I’m an analytical person, if you tell me I have to learn something, I want to know why. When the best reason I could be given was “Because I had to”, naturally, I rebelled. I wanted nothing to do with it. On top of that I liked being called “Sean” more than I liked the name “Juan”, but that is simply a personal preference.

So, to clear that up, I’m not proficient in Spanish, I am however, beginning to master the sign language side of things, here is why:

It was early in my driving career that I learned that I don’t like other drivers very much. Something about how I’m a perfect driver (null and void the several speeding tickets in my late teens, in addition to flipping an Eclipse, literally), and the fact that other people don’t know how to drive correctly, ever. I can always point out something they are doing wrong. Oh wait, that’s just my road rage talking.

But seriously, there are a lot of horrible drivers out there. The only other thing more frustrating then someone doing something stupid while driving, is pulling up behind the same person at a red light and see them in their car woofing down taco bell or something. It just makes me think:

“You god damn animal, you drive like shit, meanwhile you are in there being a pig, get back to your cage”, now truthfully, that is some very negative thinking, which is exactly why sign language can prevent you from ‘saying’ bad things. It expresses yourself without the negative karma value of “oops, I said something mean”

Another way of looking at it: language is about excitement, trying to teach it in a classroom is torture. Put someone in a car and have them get cut off my some terrible driver, then, ask that individual if they would like a few options to express themselves, my bet is that they are willing to hear the sales pitch.

So there you have it, teaching a language is about energy, about enthusiasm, and that is exactly why road rage and sign language practically go hand in hand.

So think about it, suddenly you have someone filled with energy and thinking of ways they can communicate, that is how I learned I have a gift. I’m a very fast learner in sign language and it’s proper etiquette of delivery. Every day I learn something new, but nothing voices it quite the same as my sign language abilities. It saved pressure on the vocal cords, and most times you even get a little bit of an arm workout.

I will give a lesson of a few bits of sign language, you can teach it to anyone, and at some point it will help them express themselves.

For beginners it is important that the person you are directing the message to knows that you are speaking to them, in a vehicle the best way to do this is:

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Pointing- Yep, a simple point with the finger will suffice This is directing your attention to a known party so that you know the message is intended for them. It’s important to do this or other drivers will think that you are having some kind of seizure when you are sending your sign language message.

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You screwed up- In the sign language this simply expresses that you don’t feel the other persons actions were correct. As you can see, the pointing piece of the language has been applied, the second part of the emotion is extending the middle finger so that it directly faces the intended target. In American culture this is perceived as “fuck you”, however, in the sign language it is simply stating that you feel the other person is in error, you want them to know that you don’t like it, and depending on the amount of energy put into the sign it can also mean fuck you if you want it to.

Yes, I use it as fuck you.

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Insult to a man- I reserve this piece of sign language for men, after all, there should be a level of respect from man to woman and I’m simply old fashioned like that. This essentially is letting the male party know that you feel they are a jerk off, this is normally reserved for people who ride my ass, or cut me off. It appropriately lets the other party know that you feel they are mentally disturbed and when they are done playing with themselves in the vehicle that paying attention to their driving decisions would greatly benefit the mood of the surrounding parties, aka other drivers.

Don’t forget, you have to point at the intended party.

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I want your attention- If you are at a room at home, or even out in public somewhere, snapping your fingers is the polite way of saying “Hey, look at me”, after all, it even includes sound when executed properly. A very good finger snapper can draw the attention of the intended party in a matter of a few attempts. If it doesn’t work the first time, repeat, eventually it will, even if it is out of annoyance.

So, that is the beginner’s guide to Sean’s Sign Language class. I will personally be holding a seminar in an effort to bring this into school curriculum, after all, it is educational, and it teaches us to express our inner frustrations. It prepares the pupil for late-life anger-management and can open the window to all sorts of successful possibilities.

So yeah, sign language, it’s great. I fully support it.

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