Halloween- The tale of a drunken fool

Drunk on Halloween

This is a story about my Halloween back in the year 2008. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know it is June, but that doesn’t mean you can’t tell a story of a grand Halloween time. Well…kinda ‘grand’. I got drunk on Halloween and it was a good time up until I lost my keys, cried the paint of my face, and ended up returning the following morning to the bar. More on that later…

Before I continue, yes I had to count the month off on my fingers, (January, February, March,….) it sounds stupid, but try it, those of us who are not walking calendars can genuinely appreciate it. Who needs a book of month names when you got 2 hands and a shred of creativity. ANYWAY.

It began with the theme, my wife, someone incredible with applying make-up and such, decided I was going to be the crow. I didn’t mind, Brandon Lee was a pretty cool first Crow, the ones that followed him…no real comment there…but Brandon played it like a pro.



WTF happened? Brandon (On the bottom) looks hard-core, Edward Furlong looks like he is about to break down and cry. Anyway…off topic.
So, I’m painted up like the Crow, which I look like the one on the right obviously….and we’re off to the bar. Getting drunk on Halloween is kind of the goal as we get older, it isn’t about candy, but who can look the craziest and act the stupidest, well now, that is something I was quite good at.

Everyone was here, drunk on Halloween, and having a good time. I found myself drinking anything that was thrown at me. Shots, sure? Beer, keep it coming. Before I knew it, my wife’s family owned bar had an array of blurred images moving around the room, my wife in a vampire outfit, and I was dancing. It began with myself because I couldn’t seem to find my feet and stay centered with my wife, but eventually through holding on to her I began to comprehend what can be defined as ‘white man dancing’ Everyone was too drunk to notice, and I was feeling like I could put ‘us people’ back on the map for being okay dancers. (later video of this would prove me very wrong)

The night began approaching the closing hours and being the designated driver to my wife, her friend, and mother, I began to walk us all out to the car, if you can call balancing very crooked steps walking. And low and behold, I can’t find my keys. Now let me explain something, some of us, when incredibly drunk, we don’t get angry, just very emotional. There I was, drunk on Halloween, and I could not find my keys. I began to cry.

“Sean, it’s okay, will find your keys”- Them

“No, no it’s not okay, my keys are gone”- Me

“Will get them tomorrow, will find them”- Them

“Nope, my keys, they are gone”- Me

So there I was, slumped against my eclipse, paint pouring down my face in drunken tears. They eventually called a friend to pick us up and get us to our destination.

The rest of the night several photographs were taken of me that if I can find I will post on here. I had crow makeup strained down my face, my eyes were tear driven, and I looked like a broken soul, drunk on Halloween, and lost beyond belief. These photographs to this day are held against me, but I take a certain amount of pride in them.

The following morning I woke up and took my mother-in-laws car to the scene of devastation, and hot damn would you guess? My keys were right there on the ground next to my car. I probably dropped them the night before while fishing for them, but hey, maybe it was an act of god? The holy man didn’t want a man in my condition driving anyone around, probably a good decision.

My next step was what any sensible husband would have done, I parked my mother-in-laws car at the bar her ex-husband owned and drove my car back. It essentially looked then like she (mother-in-law) had gotten drunk the night before and had to abandon her car for the meantime, as you can imagine, mother-in-law was livid.

I offered to give a ride to the bar after laughing about it, the ride was refused. As you can imagine this was the last time I got drunk on Halloween, but who knows, repeats can happen. This was my story, if you needed something to lift your mood, this was it.

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