A Lesson on Self-Respect

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A Lesson on Self-Respect

I consider self-respect to be such a big deal, not because I’m protective of myself (I am, but that isn’t the point), it’s because of the fact that so many people ignore themselves, and ignore their own needs. In a world where there is constant judgment it leaves people second guessing themselves for the most part, questioning their values, and compromising the very foundations that make them unique.

For what? Clear answer there, it’s because everyone wants to be accepted. Well, a little tough love from me to you, being able to look yourself in the mirror and accept who you are is far more important than whether or not your boss, or anyone else for that matter, considers you to be a mini clone of themselves.

People have completely forgotten what it means to just be yourself. Think about it, how many actions are taken for the sake of another? The thoughts that go like this:
“I think I should do this because it will make x person happy”
No. No. and No.

Don’t get me wrong here, doing things that will make another person happy isn’t a bad thing, but the initial thought SHOULD be this:
“It will make me happy AND this person would probably appreciate it too.”

It’s a constant spiral of values, life that is, figure out what yours are and stick to them. They are your weapon, your main defense when it comes to making stupid decisions.

In a way I feel like everyone for the most part is only half of the person they want to be, and there is nothing wrong with that. That leaves room for goals to be set and gives a continuous drive to strive to be something better. The problem is when we have these goals and let another’s opinion or values compromise our own. There is no reason for it.

A belief is something you don’t have to prove or fight for

Another foundation I find important in life is this, what people say doesn’t matter, it all comes down to what you believe. When you believe in something, you shouldn’t have to argue the point or defend it to anyone, it should simply stand separate and be one of your values.
Have you ever had a conversation with someone, you have a difference of opinion on something, and it becomes a fight in one way or another? This is a great example of what I’m trying to point out.
When you believe in something you don’t have to defend it, you simply accept someone else can have another opinion, it’s everyones right. The more you have to fight and argue to prove a point, the less you truly believe it yourself.

Don’t be afraid to voice your opinion

People have become terrified to voice what they really feel about things, why? It’s because when things become mainstream it is viewed as ‘wrong’ to question what so many others agree with. Why is it wrong? I couldn’t tell you. I’ve always been the dark horse that questions everything, but then again, my view on the world isn’t something that would work on a therapist pamphlet hoping to accomplish optimism, I’m more of a realist.
It’s as if the idea of expressing ourselves has become shunned from society, people either go with the flow or they become marked an outcast for being different.
Lets pause for a moment, great ideas came to be because of the fact that one individual was willing to think outside the box and say “I know this is what you think works, but I think this could work better,” these same people are the people that are rich and successful. The people that dared to take a chance on themselves and risk the critique of thinking on their own.
Don’t be afraid to state how you feel, granted, don’t do it like a maniac, a loud voice and lots of profanity will not successfully sway people to hear what you have to say, but done with a certain kind of ‘grace’ the only thing that you will have to fear is someone else not agreeing with your point of view. It shouldn’t be so scary when you view it that way.

Don’t judge early

It is one thing to have the strength to have your own opinion and be willing to share it, it is another to act like a complete and total nut-job and self-label yourself the new messiah. There is a healthy balance between having the strength to voice your own thoughts and debate various things, it is another to feel that everything you have to say is right and no one outside of you has valid points to share. Not only is this asinine, but it’s wrong.
The fact is, there are several ways of looking at the world, there is no RIGHT way, there are simply several different options. These options are all dependent on your personality, your values, and the things you deem as ‘needs’ versus ‘desires’. While you have these, you have to have an open mind to other views and considerations, otherwise you are just as bad as the ‘mainstream’ values.

In a way this is meant to simply remind anyone who reads it about the value of just being yourself, the fact that you don’t have to give in and be shy about who you really are, the things that separate us from the common person are often times the things that make us unique. So embrace those qualities, they are normally the things that people look up to you about, the more you hide who you really are, the less happy you will be. As crazy as it sounds, I am on a constant quest for happiness, just because I think the world is shit and the roads are polluted with land mines of depression and misery does not mean that I don’t believe in finding happiness, or encouraging people to be the best person they are capable of.

I believe in having values, sticking to them, and finding happiness in any way possible. The last thing I have to say is this, when I have to Google search an image for the idea of “Believe” and the first thing that comes up is Justin Bieber, that is simply a validation as to how fucked our world truly is. Come on…you didn’t think I was going to get through a post without one cuss word, did you? It makes the post more colorful.

Kidding aside, hopefully this was a little bit up-lifting. If not…eh, better luck next time 🙂

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4 thoughts on “A Lesson on Self-Respect

  1. Great points! Self-acceptance is one of the most important steps anyone can take towards leading a happy life that is full of contentment and security. Its interesting that your statement “what people say doesn’t matter” and “don’t be afraid to voice your opinion” seem contradictory at first but after reading further I could see that what you are saying is that self-expression and total confidence in your own perspective on things is paramount.

    Very thought-provoking article, man. Thanks for sharing!

    Best,
    -Vegter

    Like

    • Vetger,
      Thank you for taking the time to read it and comment, I appreciate that. I’m glad it was thought-provoking.
      On the contradiction, yes, ultimately I view it like this, everyone is entitled to an opinion, but ultimately, an individual shouldn’t be deterred by another’s thoughts.
      Everyone is unique, valued are often based around personal experience. There is so much fear placed around people having to act a certain way, it’s ashame.
      I just feel the importance on someone being themselves is ignored a lot. This is kind of about that, pride, encouragement to embrace what makes us unique.
      Again, thanks for dropping in.

      Like

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