Together

Misery sews patterns
Defeat’s varied design
Granting birth to fight
A strength that we find

Misfortune is a wound
A splinter of the mind
Expiration is eventual
It breaks away with time

Benefits a blessing
Found along the way
Every darkened corner
Finds the light of day

Chance, a risk we own
A step will symbolize
Movement is a growth
Not measured by a size

Ache exists within
It’s a common face
No matter who we are
Inside it has a place

Difference is a curse
It holds a common ground
Seeking understanding
With an unfamiliar sound

See past what we know
Listen with an open ear
Cast the blame aside
Lets put away the fear

Different walks of life
Prevent the holding of our hands
Lets not over-reach
To take a step, lets learn to stand

Together….with maybe hatred on the mind
Together stands as hope…

Never knowing what will find

Advertisements

Lets Talk Self-Image

imgres

Lets Talk Self-image

It truly is a philosophy: yes, we care about our image. The whole idea that ‘we don’t care’ and the people that say they can ‘look however and be just fine with it’, hey, there are a lot of poor labels out there, this happens to be one of them.

Everyone cares, the fat bastard who has clearly given up on things because he likes sweets so much, he cares, he has just given up because there is not an easy option available to remedy the given problem.

Reiterating on that, sure, you may find a guy who claims he doesn’t give a shit about how he looks, but the truth of the reality is he is a lazy bastard and simply doesn’t want to do anything about it. Before I hear about ‘what if he works a lot and simply doesn’t have time’, well then, the concept of ‘lazy’ wouldn’t apply. Which means going to the next issue at hand, put the chicken wing down.

Changing your self-image all comes down to self-control, either take the time to get some, or don’t bitch about the fact that you are beginning to look like Jabba the Hutt.

Have you ever heard this idiotic phrase?

“No one loves you more than you love yourself.”

It’s stupid, like completely out of control stupid.

I’ve heard it before and honestly, I don’t get it. Consider me a believer in the concept that you should feel good about yourself? Now, don’t get me wrong, the people who walk around like their shit doesn’t stink, well they need a good foot up their ass, but if you simply can appreciate and value yourself, why not?

We should essentially be proud of who we are as people. With each passing year the struggles and challenges we overcome have a way of molding our character, and making us each unique individuals, of course this is something to be proud of.

The people who take every day and remind themselves why they hate themselves, sure, plenty of people exist like this, they are normally the ones you hear about on the news. The stories never have a positive theme.

I feel that not enough people really take the time to appreciate what is good about them. On the opposite side of the spectrum, there are people who lose hope in themselves and stop trying to improve themselves. I don’t feel bad for these people, you are in control of your own self-esteem, well, to an extent. A prime example:

There have been 2 times in my life I have been overweight, once I was 220 pounds, and about a year ago I spiked to 235. Depression had a lot to do with it, but after a certain amount of time I looked at myself and simply said ‘you pathetic shit, get up and do something about it’, we have control over ourselves. You can’t expect people to change your feeling of unhappiness; it’s something you have control over.

I still remember to this day where my wife was like “You are fine, there is nothing wrong with how you look,” finally, one day, she comes around to telling me I’ve gained weight, I flipped. Not because of the criticism, but because I was waiting for the honesty to be slammed in my face months ago and now here I was some fat bastard and I had to do something about it.

Meanwhile my wife is like ‘the kids haven’t eaten all the chicken nuggets, here why don’t you eat them’ YUM YUM YUM, okay, it wasn’t really like that, but in my mind, it’s how it was replayed. Like I was the damn cookie monster, a big trash dumpster, and it was simply like, here, eat more, eat it all! WTF had happened to me?

I now weight around 180, which is healthy for someone 5’9ish. Whereas prior, at the 235 pounds weight class, I was what you could call a modern day ‘dwarf’. Fact is we all want to be able to look at ourselves and go, all right, I’m okay with that. If you are avoiding a mirror like it is a modern day plague, address it, the only shame is the shame of ignorance.

Just believe in yourself

It is so easy to give up, life isn’t meant to be easy. Life is meant to be a consistent routine of sacrifice, an ends to justify the means. We all have to work towards something, and to work towards something you have to believe in yourself.

The second you choose that life is too much for you, then yes, things will fall beyond your control. For the sake of inspiration though understand, everything around you that isn’t you and your own efforts is beyond your control, identify the things that you can change and make an effort to control them, because they are the very things that will decide how you feel about yourself.

The more impact you have on the things you can directly cause change to, the better you will feel bout yourself.

Shades of Memory

A rose twisted in the sky
It spread its wings across blue haze
Enveloped by the shades of red
Each shade a symbol, a hope thats bled

Fragile from the time alone
The rose gently fell from crimson skies
With a smile; she knew the end
Acceptance glazed within her eyes

The shade of season tipped by time
Scar tissue seared in the ridge of our mind
When thinking back can wet the ground
From the tears that fall; faithless, unbound

It’s the story of the genuine
A tale that takes the breath away
Without this pain who could tell
The night between the common day

Without pain; we’d see no light
Without beauty there would be no sights
If all was simple, simply plain
We’d all be absent of a name

The strength of difference; guilty stride
Where hope and pain are often tied
These things we call societies shade
It’s what we breathe in every day

So mark a chapter; shed some light
See the day the same as night
See time as choice, a path you pave
Tomorrow will come if you choose to stay

A dislodged mirror; two shades; one day
A reflection you live and a shade of could be
All tied into a book we call memory

We finalize our own chapters, and seal them with hope

Last Breath

Chains hold me down to the floor
Hopes cold and withered to the core
An ash of what they used to be
A shriveled grain of my humanity

Take a picture to remember me
Cause the days are wearing me away
And I’m running out of things to say
The silence of a prayer is all that remains

I’m breaking in a pool of glass
Spread at my feet like shards of past
That pieced together remain true
Along with scars, still black and blue

Cause it’s not what I see, or even wish
It’s not what is beyond control
It’s that part that’s hidden away
The hidden pigment of my soul

You can’t always hide; pretend; or fake
When your shoulders feel like they could break
A heart slashed open; a gaping hole
Cause life has changed; beyond control

It’s not about changing what you need to be
It’s about surviving; with a hope to believe
That today could be tomorrow’s past
Or the weight could win, this breath as the last

Image from: fineartamerica.com

The Traits of a Real Man

Every day shares a challenge that is the same for everyone: the challenge to be who you are, or the journey toward what you want to become. This comes in a number of different ways, it could be school, it could be the simplicity of managing your morning in an effective way, but one thing is consistent: we all want to strive to become something better.

Everyone has an ‘ideal’ person that they would like to be, and being a man, I have to stick to the man side of things. So, what should men be striving to be? What makes us worth looking at, listening to, hiring, believing in, and so forth? There are specific traits that make us stand out as men versus children, these are the traits of a real man:

A man can speak for himself and defend himself

Real men know how to defend themselves, and this comes in all flavors: physically and mentally. Unfortunately, this actual trait is something that is ignored more often then embraced, don’t believe me? Look at the world today and look at the leaders that are in place in various corporations. Many of them simply had positions of power because mommy and daddy handed it down to them.

Real men learn how to compose themselves, they get knocked down and they learn how to pick themselves back up. They can speak and defend points in arguments in a way that is crafted and on-point.

The problem with many men today is that they try to hide from being direct. Questions are answered with questions, decisions are made from behind the scenes, and that is the exact reason leadership on a worldwide scale is in the toilet bowl.

A man can hold his own

We have seen the mistaken tough guy: the guy that wears about 5 pounds of silver around his neck, wears a baseball cap sideways, and walks like he has had a pole rammed up his ass. This is not a tough guy, this is an unfortunate representative for the male culture that makes all of us men look bad.

There is a huge difference between a tough guy and a poser. A tough guy simply can hold his own, keep to himself, but when it all really comes down to it he can handle just about any given situation. A poser, aka above, is the guy that will pick on people that don’t know how to speak for themselves up until the choose someone who has an older brother and gets their ass kicked.

A man owns his mistakes and rarely apologizes 

Immediately the apologizing part is going to raise red flags, and I will explain. When it comes to making mistakes, if they are bad enough and ‘personal’ enough, then yes, a man should apologize. So many times though there are people saying sorry for things, when in fact they shouldn’t be saying sorry at all.

I look at it like this, there are a lot of choices that we make because we feel at the given time it is the best course of action. I’m not going to give specifics because there are far too many people to try and relate this to, but the fact is, why say sorry? I have found myself commonly saying:

“I’m not sorry about what I did or how I felt about ‘x’ thing because it is who I am”. 

The whole idea about being your own person is being able to own the decisions you make and the words you say. If you are simply being yourself, why apologize? Now granted, as mentioned above, if you hooked up with your girlfriends friend or something else of similar disaster then by all means you should be trying to apologize (unless you just truly don’t care, if that is the case, spare the person their feelings and push them away)

Only apologize when it makes sense, make sense?

A real man keeps his word

This is kind of like the golden key in a mans life. Our word should be the most important ‘thing’ we can give out. If you say you are going to do something, then do it. And likewise, only agree to things that you will come through on.

Every man should value their ability to be reliable, when you become a man known for keeping your word then people hold an entirely new respect toward you. It won’t make you a bad person to say that you can’t commit to this or that, simply make the claim to begin with, but don’t make a habit of handing out false promises. Trust is very hard to earn one it has been destroyed and your credibility sucks.

Real men have an enhanced way of seeing right and wrong

There are certain things that are simply common sense as ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and a real man will make a point of sticking to the right side of things. If we are out somewhere and see someone being truly mistreated/abused a real man will step in and set things straight. I’m not talking about a petty argument between a man and a woman, I’m talking about a man slapping a woman around, a kid being treated terribly in open public, a real man will step in and set the wrong right.

The world is a place that makes very little sense, the more people we have to drive the screwed up situations onto a right path, the more likely this world is to make sense at one point or another again.

Men do not like to gossip

We all know how women love to throw the most recent drama around like it is tickets to the title boxing match, and fact is, it sucks. It’s annoying. Can you picture a man being pent up in his room with his telephone calling around to Jared, Bob, and Fred and talking about how Randy has recently decided to start dating Liz and how she is such a slut and that he deserves better?

If you can picture this with a male friend you have, which I would heavily doubt the validity on the ‘male’ side of things there, then run. Men don’t gossip, we don’t like drama, we like quiet. The drama we bring upon ourselves is more than enough and we certainly got better things to talk about then the additional failures our friends are chalking up. Men write their own path, we don’t talk about others poor ass choices though.

Deep explanation is normally summarized

I would consider myself someone who has the ability to discuss things at a deep level and really analyze them, it doesn’t mean that I like to do that, it only means that I’m capable.  A lot of times you can place the ‘caveman’ way of thinking around men, the simpler the explanation, the better.

The fact is, when we try to make others understand us it is very, very difficult. We have little understanding about why we think the way we do, let alone trying to convince another why. The simpler the explanation, the more favorable we are towards it. Any time we try to explain something our attention span has a certain time limit, once that bell begins to go off you will gradually notice our tempers rise, our voice heighten, and the words that come out will make much less sense.

Keep it simple, men like that.

Men stick to their values

Real men stick to their values. This is the number one idea behind traits of a real man. We know what is important to us, and we keep that close to our heart. the rest of the world could burn to the ground and the fact is we have a handful of things that we keep close to our heart that we will defend until the end.

Values are going to differ from one man to another, but the number one common idea is the fact that we don’t let anything get in between what we have decided to care about. For a man to care it takes time, development of trust, and overall, a sense of responsibility over something. When we claim something is a value to our life, then we will bend over backwards to protect it.

Being a man is essentially about pride and acceptance. A real man can sit there and own who he is without apology or regret and simply own it as “I am who I am”. The fact is, the world would be a better place if more people could take on this kind of thinking.

How many people end up doing stupid things to try and impress? How may people quit things because they are pushed too hard to the extent that it simply isn’t worth the emotional conflict? There are endless examples, yet so few people that can actually live up to simply being a man, and being proud about it.

Image from: marriageenvy.com